S#*@! That's Too Sweet!

by Shelile Gino Shelile








Login onto the SugarHoneyIceTea blog space, the first thing that hit me was the design of the page. I had not read a single article and already this was my favourite blog! Not to be biased or anything, but the creators of the blog knew exactly what they were doing and they did it well. The name of the blog is an acronym of the members' writing names (or profiles, rather): Sugar-Honey, Ice and Tea. Creativity unleashed. Having picked up my tongue from the floor and rearranged my jaw into position, after I dropped it at first sight of the blog, I managed to pull myself together and read some of the posts. Initial reaction: EDIT EDIT EDIT!! I understand that writers have artistic freedom, poetic licence and whatever other 'judicial' rights producers of literature are entitled to, however, that is no excuse to not spell-check your posts. Had it been an English exam, most of the contributors would have failed dismally! Moving away from the errors of grammar, I was particularly amused with the content of the posts. SugarHoneyIceTea really lives up to its name and reputation: it is 'da sh!t' (mind the German). This is Entertainment news at its best! Ice, specifically, writes with a unique style that I've termed: sweet cynicism. His posts ooze judgement, disapproval for anything not invented by himself and extreme opinion - all covered with flowery language and smothered in humour. With such characters as contributors, the blog cannot be anything but the sh!t (in a good way, of course).

Picnic @ the Bots

by Shelile Gino Shelile








So there I was feeling embarassed for thinking I was the only one who didn't have the slightest clue where the Rhodes Botanical Gardens were - after having spent almost a year at this institution. Imagine how relieved I was when my girlfriend told me she had never been there too. My friend Vuyo - who had discovered the Bots a day before, due to a practical he had been doing with his chemistry class - arrogantly led the way and we followed (somewhat reluctantly). We decided to attach our posteriors to a patch of grass after having wandered around aimlessly like Moses in search of the Promised land. The Promised land was damp, but accomodating. Comfortably supporting my girl's head on my chest, I reached over to a white Pick 'n Pay packet laying on the floor with its contents sprawled all over the place. I grabbed a biscuit. Bite. So these are the Bot gardens, I thought. Chew. They look so green. Chew. Too green... like the amazons. Swallow. Very spacious. Bite. I observed a trail leading into what I believed was Survivor territory at the time. Chew. I wasn't keen on finding out. Chew. I reached for another biscuit. It wasn't bad I suppose. I could get used to it - lazing around on semi-dry land with friends and food like shepherds at a braai (assuming shepherds don't mind sacrificing some livestock in the name of festivities and all things good). Swallow. Half an hour into it I decided I was bored (and I had run out of biscuits). How depressing! A few rather exposed legs scrambled after an orange ball; some hairy chests were stealing the spotlight from the trees; ice-cream melted in a neglected container; soft drinks soaked the ground; trees hid the sun; and the dirt befriended my feet... Home time.

Vegetarians, Vegans, Liars & Murderers

by Shelile Gino Shelile

Vegetarians have always maintained that abstinence from meat is somehow beneficial to both human health and the preservation of the earth. According to them, vegetarianism is better than the best life insurance policy out there.

Asked about their love for chocolates, dairy products and the fur and leather clothing they adorn their wardrobes with, the smartest ones reply: "The main problem is killing an animal for its meat." But isn't that how human beings were biologically designed - as omnivores? Had we been herbivores, we would also have three stomachs like a cow and special enzymes to extract nutrients from greens and dead leaves. A scientific approach argues that the human digestive system cannot process grass, seeds and certain nuts. In addition, the human brain requires particular proteins and fatty acids from meats to ensure it develops fully and is able to function at its optimum. Also, it has been suggested that vegans and vegetarians are slightly more aggressive than people who consume meat. They are more likely to engage in violent protests and involove themselves in militant activities. American writer and journalist, Ernest Hemingway, once stated: "those people who identify themselves with animals...are capable of greater cruelty towards human beings than those who do not readily identify themselves with animals." Is it no wonder then that Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian?

O(h) bama!

by Shelile Gino Shelile





tweet: U.S. President gets Nobel Peace Prize for giving convincing speeches...




Barack Obama wins a Nobel Peace Prize last Saturday and he has only been president of the United States of America for barely a year. Question: what the hell for?


Like Adekeye Adebajo (mail&guardian October 16) said in his article, "the prize was awarded to him more for aspirational rhetoric than for concrete accomplishments." Obama hasn't done anything outstanding except being black and leading a country. Mandela did that too - after he had been imprisoned for 27 years!


Obama is a great man, no doubt. However, is it really wise to bestow him with such a prestigious award just months after he has been elected into the White House? Agreeing with Peter Richardson of Sunshine Coast Daily (October 19), the award was a bit premature, even if it had been based on his presidential acceptance speech which fired hope into the hearts of all Americans (along with the rest of the world). I figured people received such awards in recognition of their achievements rather than their ambitions. In the words of Schmuley Boteach (columns.jpost.com October 13): "Peace is not simply a great speech, and universal harmony is not merely a collection of words."


Save the Nobel Peace Prize until Obama ends all war; prevents Africa from starving; puts an end to global warming and single-handedly finds the cure to AIDS...you know, something important like that. After all, according to popular belief, Obama is the new superman and the fate of the world now rests in his hands.